FNL: I Turn My Camera On
Fandom: Friday Night Lights
Rating: Teen (language and themes)
Pairing: Tim Riggins/His Entire Address Book
Spoilers: Assumes you've seen all of S3
Author's Note: Inspired by a real life event that's had me laughing all day long.*
Also -- S4! Almost here! Snoopy Dance! Snoopy Dance!
Legalese: Friday Night Lights is copyright its respective owners. This is a labor of laughter and love, not lucre.
Since it was several hours drive away in another state, Lyla left for Vanderbilt two weeks before classes started. Tim, on the other hand, had no plans to leave for San Antonio state until he absolutely had to.
It had been four days and already he missed Lyla something fierce, missed spooning up around her and nuzzling into her hair. Early morning sunlight crept in from the edges of the blinds, rousing him further and ... just thinking about her made "Old Faithful" give that extra little throb.
Oh, why the hell not?
He took himself in hand, grabbed his cell phone, snapped the shot, wrote "thinking of you" in the subject line of the email and hit send.
And then, because his hand was there anyways, Tim took care of business, wiped himself on the corner of the sheet and shut out the bothersome sun by rolling face down into the bed.
He wondered what Lyla would send him in reply. Or, maybe she'd call. He'd like that. He missed the sound of her voice.
---
As he scrubbed blearily at his eyes, dutifully picking at the rubbery scrambled eggs Mindy had made for him, Billy loved his wife for trying so damn hard. She couldn't cook for shit and yet, she had hauled her tired, cranky, pregnant self out of bed every morning since she had taken leave from the Landing Strip and made him a proper breakfast. Because she loved him. And because Billy loved his Mindykins, he made himself eat it. Thanked her for it, too.
At least there was coffee. Mindy made a damn fine pot of coffee.
As she nibbled at her dry toast, her phone flashed, indicating a new message. Whatever it was caused her eyes to damn near bug out before she burst into gales of laughter. Before he could ask her what was so funny, Billy's phone buzzed.
And ... well, that boy down the hall always did have a PhD in stupidity.
Mindy's eyes twinkled wickedly as she crooned, "Not a word, Billy Riggins. Not a word. He'll discover what he's done soon enough. But that got me to thinking, big brother ..." She gave him a sly wink.
Billy's fork hit the plate with a clatter. He didn't have to be asked twice. Besides, he found her hard, round six-months-pregnant belly incredibly sexy.
(And, she'd called him BIG brother.)
God, he loved this woman, and as he chased her giggling ass down the hall and to the bedroom, his heart (and parts south) swelled with love for her.
---
In an effort to show that East Dillon could adequately provide for its athletic staff, the administration had gotten all of them brand spanking new fancy schmancy phones with lots of buttons. Eric Taylor couldn't understand half of how it worked, but luckily for him, Athletic Director (and Head Girl's Soccer Coach) Roberta Roberts was nice enough to sit down with him and walk him through how his "crackberry" worked.
"See, you've got a new email. So, if you push that button there, you can open it. See? Piece of -- Oh. My. God!" Her voice jumped a breathy half-octave. As she sat back on the couch next to him, fanning herself, Eric tried to close the email as quickly as possible, but the phone leaped out of his fingers, clattering to the floor.
"Shit." The once perfect black finish now had several scratches in it. He prided himself on how quickly he got it flipped to the phone call screen, but paused, trying to decide who to call first.
Bobby cleared her throat. "Eric?" She laid a hand on his forearm and frowned at him in concern. "Is this the first time you've had a student with feelings for you?"
"Former student, and no. I mean, nobody's come on to me. Or come out to me." He feverishly worked the damn ball in the middle until it spun down to the number he wanted. He punched the button.
"Hey dad!" Julie's voice chirruped in his ear.
"Hey Jules ... does your phone have email on it?"
"No, but --"
"Okay!" He hung up, heaving a huge sigh of relief.
----
The Stratton Sisters sidled up to Tim at the Gas and Go. Dottie on one side, Weezy on the other "Hey Timmy ...." They both ran their hands down his chest. "What'cha doin' later?"
"Working." He smiled vaguely at them as he reached down and around Dottie (or was it Weezy?) to grab a large bag of cheez doodles. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Damn thing had been buzzing all morning, and not Lyla's number, either. Rally girls, mostly.
"Oh ..." Weezy pouted, but Dottie said, "Okay, well, if you change your mind again, we're ready to make more memories."
"Uhh ... okay." God. Damn. Did people not get the message? He'd gone steady with Lyla for damn near a year now. He was off the market.
One of them pinched his ass as he turned to go.
Sheesh!
----
It took Landry Clarke about 0.5 seconds to figure out how he had ended up with a picture of that particular part of Tim Riggins on his cell phone.
Well, Tyra had certainly not traded down in that department when she'd gotten him. The knowledge put a grin on Landry's face, one that even Coach Taylor calling him "Lance" yet again and all the other horrors of Hell Week couldn't erase.
----
"It was a complete accident, ma'am. Yes ma'am, -- my phone's ringing, I've got anothercallcomingthroughIhavetotakeit." Tim pushed the button without even seeing who it was.
"Tim, is there a particular reason you sent me a picture of your dick?"
"Jason! Oh, thank God!"
A long pause followed. "That bad, huh?"
"Six, I'm talking to Tyra's mom about why there's a picture of my dick on her phone. How's that sound to you?"
"That's ... that's pretty damn bad. Even for you."
"Fuckin' Billy's the worst though. It's been all gay porn, all day long." Pause. "Like, enough that I'm wondering about him, y'know?"
Jason laughed. "Is Coach Taylor in your address book?"
"Six, the only reason I'm still walking the earth is that Julie Taylor's phone doesn't do email." Tim swallowed hard. "He told me that Coach Roberts used it as a chance to have a long talk with him about what to do when a student does come out to him. Apparently she even put one of those pink triangle safe zone sticker things on his office window so that everybody can see that he's 'one of the good guys.'"
Jason snickered for several moments before getting his breath back. "Y'know Riggs, there's always room on my couch."
"Thanks, Six. I'll let you know if I need it."
"Sounds good, only ... if you're coming, call, don't email. That didn't go over so well the last time you did it."
"I love you too, Six," Tim snarked before he hung up and started packing a duffel bag.
Getting to San Antonio State a few days early was looking pretty damn good right now.
----
* This person's ex-MIL (my supervisor) is also in his address book. We've been howling with laughter about this all day long.
Rating: Teen (language and themes)
Pairing: Tim Riggins/His Entire Address Book
Spoilers: Assumes you've seen all of S3
Author's Note: Inspired by a real life event that's had me laughing all day long.*
Also -- S4! Almost here! Snoopy Dance! Snoopy Dance!
Legalese: Friday Night Lights is copyright its respective owners. This is a labor of laughter and love, not lucre.
Since it was several hours drive away in another state, Lyla left for Vanderbilt two weeks before classes started. Tim, on the other hand, had no plans to leave for San Antonio state until he absolutely had to.
It had been four days and already he missed Lyla something fierce, missed spooning up around her and nuzzling into her hair. Early morning sunlight crept in from the edges of the blinds, rousing him further and ... just thinking about her made "Old Faithful" give that extra little throb.
Oh, why the hell not?
He took himself in hand, grabbed his cell phone, snapped the shot, wrote "thinking of you" in the subject line of the email and hit send.
And then, because his hand was there anyways, Tim took care of business, wiped himself on the corner of the sheet and shut out the bothersome sun by rolling face down into the bed.
He wondered what Lyla would send him in reply. Or, maybe she'd call. He'd like that. He missed the sound of her voice.
---
As he scrubbed blearily at his eyes, dutifully picking at the rubbery scrambled eggs Mindy had made for him, Billy loved his wife for trying so damn hard. She couldn't cook for shit and yet, she had hauled her tired, cranky, pregnant self out of bed every morning since she had taken leave from the Landing Strip and made him a proper breakfast. Because she loved him. And because Billy loved his Mindykins, he made himself eat it. Thanked her for it, too.
At least there was coffee. Mindy made a damn fine pot of coffee.
As she nibbled at her dry toast, her phone flashed, indicating a new message. Whatever it was caused her eyes to damn near bug out before she burst into gales of laughter. Before he could ask her what was so funny, Billy's phone buzzed.
And ... well, that boy down the hall always did have a PhD in stupidity.
Mindy's eyes twinkled wickedly as she crooned, "Not a word, Billy Riggins. Not a word. He'll discover what he's done soon enough. But that got me to thinking, big brother ..." She gave him a sly wink.
Billy's fork hit the plate with a clatter. He didn't have to be asked twice. Besides, he found her hard, round six-months-pregnant belly incredibly sexy.
(And, she'd called him BIG brother.)
God, he loved this woman, and as he chased her giggling ass down the hall and to the bedroom, his heart (and parts south) swelled with love for her.
---
In an effort to show that East Dillon could adequately provide for its athletic staff, the administration had gotten all of them brand spanking new fancy schmancy phones with lots of buttons. Eric Taylor couldn't understand half of how it worked, but luckily for him, Athletic Director (and Head Girl's Soccer Coach) Roberta Roberts was nice enough to sit down with him and walk him through how his "crackberry" worked.
"See, you've got a new email. So, if you push that button there, you can open it. See? Piece of -- Oh. My. God!" Her voice jumped a breathy half-octave. As she sat back on the couch next to him, fanning herself, Eric tried to close the email as quickly as possible, but the phone leaped out of his fingers, clattering to the floor.
"Shit." The once perfect black finish now had several scratches in it. He prided himself on how quickly he got it flipped to the phone call screen, but paused, trying to decide who to call first.
Bobby cleared her throat. "Eric?" She laid a hand on his forearm and frowned at him in concern. "Is this the first time you've had a student with feelings for you?"
"Former student, and no. I mean, nobody's come on to me. Or come out to me." He feverishly worked the damn ball in the middle until it spun down to the number he wanted. He punched the button.
"Hey dad!" Julie's voice chirruped in his ear.
"Hey Jules ... does your phone have email on it?"
"No, but --"
"Okay!" He hung up, heaving a huge sigh of relief.
----
The Stratton Sisters sidled up to Tim at the Gas and Go. Dottie on one side, Weezy on the other "Hey Timmy ...." They both ran their hands down his chest. "What'cha doin' later?"
"Working." He smiled vaguely at them as he reached down and around Dottie (or was it Weezy?) to grab a large bag of cheez doodles. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Damn thing had been buzzing all morning, and not Lyla's number, either. Rally girls, mostly.
"Oh ..." Weezy pouted, but Dottie said, "Okay, well, if you change your mind again, we're ready to make more memories."
"Uhh ... okay." God. Damn. Did people not get the message? He'd gone steady with Lyla for damn near a year now. He was off the market.
One of them pinched his ass as he turned to go.
Sheesh!
----
It took Landry Clarke about 0.5 seconds to figure out how he had ended up with a picture of that particular part of Tim Riggins on his cell phone.
Well, Tyra had certainly not traded down in that department when she'd gotten him. The knowledge put a grin on Landry's face, one that even Coach Taylor calling him "Lance" yet again and all the other horrors of Hell Week couldn't erase.
----
"It was a complete accident, ma'am. Yes ma'am, -- my phone's ringing, I've got anothercallcomingthroughIhavetotakeit." Tim pushed the button without even seeing who it was.
"Tim, is there a particular reason you sent me a picture of your dick?"
"Jason! Oh, thank God!"
A long pause followed. "That bad, huh?"
"Six, I'm talking to Tyra's mom about why there's a picture of my dick on her phone. How's that sound to you?"
"That's ... that's pretty damn bad. Even for you."
"Fuckin' Billy's the worst though. It's been all gay porn, all day long." Pause. "Like, enough that I'm wondering about him, y'know?"
Jason laughed. "Is Coach Taylor in your address book?"
"Six, the only reason I'm still walking the earth is that Julie Taylor's phone doesn't do email." Tim swallowed hard. "He told me that Coach Roberts used it as a chance to have a long talk with him about what to do when a student does come out to him. Apparently she even put one of those pink triangle safe zone sticker things on his office window so that everybody can see that he's 'one of the good guys.'"
Jason snickered for several moments before getting his breath back. "Y'know Riggs, there's always room on my couch."
"Thanks, Six. I'll let you know if I need it."
"Sounds good, only ... if you're coming, call, don't email. That didn't go over so well the last time you did it."
"I love you too, Six," Tim snarked before he hung up and started packing a duffel bag.
Getting to San Antonio State a few days early was looking pretty damn good right now.
----
* This person's ex-MIL (my supervisor) is also in his address book. We've been howling with laughter about this all day long.
(Anonymous)
1407graymalkin
I'm in love with the fact that it's become a hilarious fic. And it's worth the fact that I'm choking to death happily now from laughing so hard :)
Re: 1407graymalkin
I'm glad I made you laugh.
(Anonymous)
Rachel
My sister had a problem with that--her board chair's e-mail was right next to her girlfriend's in her contact list. It caused a problem a couple of times.
Re: Rachel
I hope the problems caused for your sister weren't too bad. ;)
And the bit about Landry was priceless.
And yes, it's classic Tim to do something like this.
(Anonymous)
Will return to finish when I'm home and alone.
*giggles into her jacket sleeve*
Oh God, Timmy.